What do you do when things fall apart? Find out...

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Very informative based on the book:-  When things fall apart by Pema Chodron (Budhist teacher)

What do you do when things fall apart to recove and avoid getting addicted to bad habits eg alcholism, overeating, anger and rage?



INTERVIEW
(realtime transcript - hence non-verbertim)

Interview of Pema Chodran author of “When things fall apart - Heart advice for living better” by Oprah

Repeated interview on 7 December 2014

"One way to get rid of suffering is practicing – compassionate abiding – is a practice where one is suffering one might say first –locate it in your body, and just feel it completely as you can, what is going on at that moment.  Then in deep breath, breath it all in breath in the suffering, all the unwanted, the suffering.  Buddhism.  – Oprah thought of suffering like a sufuuuuuuuuuuufruing like your child is suffering.  But you might not now but you suffer in different ways.  The work suffering is used in association with something tragic, war, death of a loved one. When Pema uses the word suffering she is talking of disturbing times that give us anxiety, or despair, e.g. conflict in family, loss of job, or when life is not going your way.  When uncomfortable, insecure.  Or discontent.

When you are in discontent and recognize it and want to get rid of it.  Instead of drinking, yelling or eating instead you breath it in, or use an image as if you are breathing it in to your heart and your heart gets bigger and you feel your heart getting bigger and bigger , no matter how big it is you give it more space then you open it to what it is.  First accept that what has happened has happened – breathing is like being with it and fully accepting.  Instead of trying to resisting and putting it away.  It feels like a rock, as if your whole body was cleansed it as you are so miserable.  And breathe it and let the stomach open and heart open it’s like you are going, I surrender and breathe in deeply and breathe out deeply. And if you do 10 breaths go ahead.  But it is on the medium allowing it and embracing it even more.  This is compassionate abiding wit h yourself.   When you breath in you recognize all over the world right now in the past and future people are gonna feel exactly what you are feeling now rejected, not being in love, insecure, fear , rage.  

 Then human beings have always been feeling so you breathe in for everyone so you embrace it. By knowing and having a great friendship with yourself it gets to being compassionate for others and it is important as again it is the first step to fully accept where you are.  Everyone tries to run away for suffering, it is like evading it.  This is it be with it.  You wanna it to go away.  She spends a lot of time.  Trying to encourage people to try and feel the pain when suffering.  Allow yourself to be fully human.  Human beings don’t just feel good.  Have you noticed that and animals too we just don’t feel good.  The richness of life involves what's  good and bad, happy and sad and so happy could be winning that pp don’t have too much problem but as soon as you get near something that feels uncomfortable , substance abuse and all types of addictions come from that.  All are violence, domestic violence and violence with kids all comes from that as everyone is trying to feel good and they do terrible things.  To try and avoid the tears they can’t be with and they reach out externally to do that. 

Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth. – Wow.  It is good.  She meant

Fear comes with not knowing what is gonna happen, the unknown, not knowing that will happen next.  In the teachings, Shambala, shambolic.  If you don’t know the nature of fear, don’t know what fear feels like then you can never be fearless.  (Take this in) great quote.

Fear we are talking about all the manifestations of fear i.e. jealous rage, anxiety, rage is fear to the 10^th power, loneliness.(exercise –walk yourself 6 yrs old and walk home from school and to the window and look at what you see) .  What do you feel?  Oprah felt lonely so did Pema, when she was about 20 years ago. When everyone left her.  No one can help you out of it you have to be lonely and relate and then you will never feel lonely again as she realized that those other people’s lives were fixed.  She thought about death and that will be alone and certainly will do alone its yours and you go by yourself. 

She thinks death is – she is not afraid of it as she thinks it is a transition.  She thinks but is ready to be surprised if it is different.  She thinks as one goes to sleep at night and there is a dream world when you die you enter into a, everything continues and you end up born again and life goes on.  Merrily xxxxx

Craving is getting over and loosing yourself in that moment of stress, e.g. I didn’t get the grade I wanted.  Disappointed you get taken over by that and you feel like you are that.  That is what shampa is.

Shampa is a feeling of being hooked.  Remove yourself from the situation, go for a walk when things get intense e.g. if you lose your job, give yourself some space and  go to a library or a park where no one talks to you and be right there with the feeling without trying to run away from it.  Walk in the beach alone with it and then this is hard, for meditation helps.  Notice your thoughts and how you are talking-to yourself and how it is about either you are wrong or they are wrong, self hatred what did I do, why me, blame blame husband, teacher who gave you the grade. Notice your thinking and come back to being present, come back to the observer, observe the thought and notice you are the observer and you are not the thought and come back to the immediacy of your thought rather than coming back as the observer. It is not like so much about self but about genuine experience of the present.  Touch the chair, feel the warmth of the cup.  So be aware of everything in the present moment, bring yourself to the present moment. 

 Interesting, when you turn from the unwanted, unpleasant feeling it transforms you to some kind of way, you own them and what happens people connect with the fact that they are basically good.  You are not messed up or broken but you r are fundamentally wrong.  Am a good person why did this happen to me and some people lose their faith coz of issue’s ... God you did do what I asked……Nothing wrong has happened here, e.g. lost job, life is pointing you to another direction another opportunity and the very LEAST It is AN OOPPORUTNITY TO REALLY START WELCOME THOSE STUCK ACTIVATED PAINFUL FEELINGS AND ITS HAPPENING SO GO THERE AND WILL GO THERE.  So the lowing job failure of any kind, what it gets to is at the core of it you feel messed up and you are a mess.  And that is the ego, shampa, the attachment is to that but if you say, let’s make friends rather than to call bad and being friend is knowing 100% that and don’t reject it, that is how you begin to become an egoless person.  The fixating ad ego, is coz we feel we have something to protect and don’t wanna feel that way.   If people can embrace or handle their nervious system to hold the discontent then there is a chance of letting the evolution happen.

Book = when things fall apart  by Pema Chodron – budhist spiritiual teacher"

source

www.facebook.com/supersoulsunday = video app, repeated on 7 December 2014