12 Ways We Sabotage Our Mental Health

When it comes to mental health, our daily habits and patterns of thinking can be our own worst enemy.
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Our own worst enemy

by Amanda Gardner
Our mind and mood are keenly sensitive to the world around us. Distressing life events—a bad breakup, unemployment, the death of a loved one—often leave us rattled or sad, of course, but our daily routine and patterns of thinking also have a big impact on our mood. Bad habits like skimping on sleep, drinking too much, or nursing grudges can undermine our mental health, whether that means a brief episode of the blues or full-blown depression and anxiety.

Happily, many of these mental pitfalls can be avoided. We break down 12 of the most common and provide tips for how to steer clear.


Weight gain

It's a common belief that couples "let themselves go" after pairing off, and there may be something to it. According to a 2012 review, people tend to gain weight as they settle into marriage and lose weight when a marriage ends.

But Troiani has seen the opposite happen quite often, as well: "A happy couple can motivate each other to stay healthy—they'll go to the gym together, set goals, and feel responsible for each other." When couples do pack on the pounds, she adds, it may be a symptom of conflict, not slacking off. "Dissatisfaction in the relationship can lead to passive-aggressive eating behaviors and sleep problems, which will lead to weight gain," she says.

Stress levels

Surprise, surprise: Regular physical intimacy appears to reduce stress and boost well-being. One study, published in 2009 in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, found that people who frequently had sex were healthier mentally and more likely to report greater satisfaction with their relationship and life overall.

Sex is just one aspect of a relationship, however. And your partner's behavior outside the bedroom can just as easily send stress levels soaring in the opposite direction. Parenting disputes, disagreements over money, or even questions as simple as who does which household chores have been shown to increase stress.


Feel-good hormones

Sex isn't the only type of physical contact that can lower stress and improve health. In a 2004 study of 38 couples, University of North Carolina researchers found that both men and women had higher blood levels of oxytocin—a hormone believed to ease stress and improve mood—after hugging. The women also had lower blood pressure post-hug, and lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

"These types of caring behaviors are so important: a touch on the arm, holding hands, a rub on the shoulder," Troiani says. "It only takes a few seconds of contact to stimulate those hormones and to help overcome stress and anxiety."

Sleep problems

Sleeping next to someone you love and trust can help you fully relax and embrace sleep, Troiani says. A big exception to that rule, of course, is if your bedmate keeps you up at night—by snoring, for instance, or by tossing and turning. In a 2005 poll, people were more likely to experience daytime fatigue and fitful sleep themselves if their partner was struggling with insomnia.

Relationships can affect sleep in less direct ways, too. Research shows that relationship insecurity or conflict is associated with poorer sleep—and to make matters worse, sleep problems can exacerbate relationship problems, creating a vicious cycle.

to be contiued....

courtesy:  www.health.com - shared articiles.

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What can save a marriage from going downhill without any hope of coming back up again is mercy, understood in the biblical sense, that is, not just reciprocal forgiveness but spouses acting with “compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness and patience” (Col 3:12). Mercy adds agape to eros, it adds the love that gives of oneself and has compassion to the love of need and desire. God “takes pity” on human beings (see Ps 102:13). Shouldn’t a husband and wife, then, take pity on each other? And those of us who live in community, shouldn’t we take pity on one another instead of judging one another?, Homily, Good Friday, St Peters Basillica, 24/3/16

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