10 Ways to Snap a Bad Mood

10 Ways to Snap a Bad Mood

How to protect your psychological health, improve your relationships, and enhance your self-esteem.

by Guy Winch, Ph.D.

Knowing the cause makes all the difference.

Published on September 29, 2014 by Guy Winch, Ph.D. in The Squeaky Wheel

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freedigitalphotos.net

We all get bad moods and we eventually snap out of them. The main reason we have trouble extracting ourselves from them more immediately is because you can't shake a bad mood if you're not aware of what's causing it. The next time you get into a funk, don't simply wait for your dark cloud to lift. There are steps you can take to improve a bad mood and the first one is to figure out what’s causing it. Here are ten common causes of bad moods and what you can do to banish them.

1. Feeling guilty. Feeling even mildly guilty can have a huge impact on our mood. Forgetting someone’s birthday can make you feel bad even if you apologize (and certainly if you don’t). The best way to resolve guilty feelings is to atone for your actions. If you still feel bad about the missed birthday—take a few minutes to send a cute/funny apology card/e-card or small gift. They will appreciate the gesture and you will feel better by the time you click send (read The Five Ingredients of an Effective Apology).

2. Small rejections. Rejections are an extremely common emotional injury, especially in the age of social media (read Why Rejections on Social Media Can Really Hurt). When you post your vacation pictures on Facebook or Instagram and no one likes them, it can sting. However, since you don’t know the circumstances, it’s important not to take things personally. People often check social media on the fly; while waiting for the elevator (or the doctor), while stuck at a traffic light (or in a meeting), or while sitting on a bus (or on the can). If someone close hasn’t responded, assume they were too busy to do so, send them a text or message asking them to take a look at your vacation pics and get the response you want.

freedigitalphotos.net

3. Outstanding tasks. Our mental to-do lists can sit in the back of our mind, nag at us, and bring down our mood. But you don’t have to complete every outstanding task to improve your mood. Studies found that making a plan for tackling such tasks is sufficient to eliminate the mental nagging and improve your mood. So decide when you’ll do the task, set a reminder on your phone or put up a post-it, and see your mood lighten.
4. Brooding over upsetting events. Many of us can get stuck replaying upsetting scenes that occurred days, weeks, and even months ago (read The Seven Hidden Dangers of Brooding). When an upsetting short film keeps playing in the back of your mind—use distraction techniques to reduce the intensity and frequency of the reminder. Studies show that even a two minute distraction (such as doing a crossword, Candy Crush, or Sudoku) is sufficient to disrupt the distressing thought and repair your mood.

5. Having a low self-esteem day. Like having a bad hair day, we often wake up feeling crappy about ourselves for no apparent reason. Our self-esteem tends to fluctuate but it is also important to beef it up when it is low. Therefore, when your self-esteem is in a slump for no apparent reason, do something to make you feel good about yourself. Work out and release some endorphins, wear something you feel good in, plan something you’ll look forward to doing, or call someone who truly appreciates you and makes you feel good about who you are.

6. Fearing failure. We can worry about a triathlon or sporting event, a big presentation at work, or an important exam for days and even weeks beforehand. To get out of your bad mood, focus on things in your control: Beefing up your preparation, creating support among colleagues by being supportive and encouraging of their presentations (making them more likely to be supportive of yours), or making a detailed study schedule can help reduce fear of failure and the bad moods that go with it.

7. Feeling disconnected from people. We can often get so caught up in life we neglect our emotional and social needs and begin to feel disconnected from the people around us. Give a loved one a call or take a break and play with your pet (cats and dogs are best for easing feelings of loneliness. Alas, there is little science about other species, so apologies to the pet goldfish, parrot, and snake folk). Studies have also found that even brief social interactions with acquaintances can improve mood (read Why We Need All the Acquaintances We Can Get).

freedigitalphotos.net

8. Getting caught up in small annoyances. As we go about our busy lives, small annoyances such as getting incorrect charges on a phone bill, cable service going on the fritz, or the car not starting can become exaggerated and ruin our mood. To restore your mood you need to get perspective and reminding yourself of the big picture. Use the one year question: Is this something you will remember in a year? If not, it’s not worth getting annoyed about. To help balance your mood even further, do a quick gratitude exercise. Make a list of 5 things you’re grateful for that really matter (e.g., Your kids are healthy, you have a good job, you have friends who care about you, your standard of living is better than most other people in the world, etc…).

9. Being hungry. Okay, this one is pretty obvious but it’s amazing how often we forget to consider it. Being hungry impacts our mood far more than we tend to realize. If it’s been a while since you last ate—try a snack.

10. Being tired. This one too is in the ‘obvious but often neglected’ category. Children aren’t the only ones who get cranky when they’re tired. When we don’t get enough sleep it significantly impacts our thinking, creativity, and especially our general mood. If you can, take a fifteen minute powernap. Even a brief nap can be sufficient to recharge your batteries and bump you out of the doldrums.

source: shared article

www.psychologytoday.com, date accessed 30 September 2014

Swahili Students at the University of Florida enjoying Diamond Platnumz song - My Number One — with  


learning swahili

Source:
Peter Maiyo's video

Lyrics - Ordinary People by John Legend

"Ordinary People"

[Verse 1]

Girl im in love with you
This ain't the honeymoon
Past the infatuation phase
Right in the thick of love
At times we get sick of love
It seems like we argue everyday

[Bridge]

I know i misbehaved
And you made your mistakes
And we both still got room left to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

[Verse 2]

This ain't a movie no
No fairy tale conclusion ya'll
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
Then we head back to hell again
We kiss then we make up on the way

[Bridge]

I hang up you call
We rise and we fall
And we feel like just walking away
As our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I Still want you to stay

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

[Verse 3]

Take it slow
Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,
maybe you'll return
Maybe another fight
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
We never know baby youuuu and I

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Heyyy)
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow 

reference:

 http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/johnlegend/ordinarypeople.html, date accessed 26 September 2014

lyrics - You and I by John legend

"You & I (Nobody In The World)"

You fix your make up, just so
Guess you don't know, that you're beautiful
Try on every dress that you own
You were fine in my eyes a half hour ago

And if your mirror won't make it any clearer I'll
Be the one to let you know

Out of all of the girls
You're my one and only girl
Ain't nobody in the world tonight

All of the stars, you make them shine like they were ours
Ain't nobody in the world but you and I
You and I
Ain't nobody in the world but you and I

You stop the room when we walk in
Spotlight's on everybody's staring
Tell all of these boys they're wasting their time
Stop standing in line, 'cause you're all mine

And this evening I won't let the feeling die
I never wanna leave your side

Out of all of the girls
You're my one and only girl
Ain't nobody in the world tonight

All of the stars you make them shine like they were ours
Ain't nobody in the world but you and I
You and I
Ain't nobody in the world

You keep wondering if you're what I'm wanting
You don't even have to try

You don't have to try
Don't try
Don't try
You don't have to try

Out of all of the girls
You're my one and only girl
Ain't nobody in the world tonight

All of the stars, they don't shine brighter than you are
Ain't nobody in the world but you and I
You and I
You and I
Nobody in the world tonight
Ain't nobody in the world but you and I

reference:

 http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/johnlegend/youinobodyintheworld.html, date accessed 26 September 2014

The only five things we all share (fear)

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Vitalii Nesterchuk/Shutterstock

President Franklin Roosevelt famously asserted, "The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself."I think he was right: Fear of fear probably causes more problems in our lives than fear itself.
That claim needs a bit of explaining, I know.

Fear has gotten a bad rap among most human beings. And it's not nearly as complicated as we try to make it. A simple and useful definition of fear is: An anxious feeling, caused by our anticipation
of some imagined event or experience.

Medical experts tell us that the anxious feeling we get when we're afraid is a standardized biological reaction. It's pretty much the same set of body signals, whether we're afraid of getting bitten by a dog, getting turned down for a date, or getting our taxes audited.

Fear, like all other emotions, is basically information. It offers us knowledge and understanding—if we choose to accept it—of our psychobiological status.And there are only five basic fears, out of which almost all of our other so-called fears are manufactured. These are:

1. Extinction—the fear of annihilation, of ceasing to exist. This is a more fundamental way to express it than just calling it "fear of death." The idea of no longer being arouses a primary existential anxiety in all normal humans. Consider that panicky feeling you get when you look over the edge of a high building.
2. Mutilation—the fear of losing any part of our precious bodily structure; the thought of having our body's boundaries invaded, or of losing the integrity of any organ, body part, or natural function. Anxiety about animals, such as bugs, spiders, snakes, and other creepy things arises from fear of mutilation.
3. Loss of Autonomy—the fear of being immobilized, paralyzed, restricted, enveloped, overwhelmed, entrapped, imprisoned, smothered, or otherwise controlled by circumstances beyond our control. In physical form, it's commonly known as claustrophobia, but it also extends to our social interactions and relationships.
4. Separation—the fear of abandonment, rejection, and loss of connectedness; of becoming a non-person—not wanted, respected, or valued by anyone else. The "silent treatment," when imposed by a group, can have a devastating psychological effect on its target.
5. Ego-death—the fear of humiliation, shame, or any other mechanism of profound self-disapproval that threatens the loss of integrity of the Self; the fear of the shattering or disintegration of one's constructed sense of lovability, capability, and worthiness.

That's all—just those five. They can be thought of as forming a simple hierarchy, or "feararchy":
 

Think about the various common labels we put on our fears. Start with the easy ones: fear of heights or falling is basically the fear of extinction (possibly accompanied by significant mutilation, but that's sort of secondary). Fear of failure? Read it as fear of ego-death. Fear of rejection? That's fear of separation, and probably also fear of ego-death. The terror many people have at the idea of having to speak in public is basically fear of ego-death. Fear of intimacy, or "fear of commitment," is basically fear of losing one's autonomy.

Some other emotions we know by various popular names are just aliases for these primary fears. If you track them down to their most basic levels, the basic fears show through. Jealousy, for example, is an expression of the fear of separation, or devaluation: "She'll value him more than she values me." At its extreme, it can express the fear of ego-death: "I'll be a worthless person." Envy works the same way.
Shame and guilt express the fear of—or the actual condition of—separation and even ego-death. The same is true for embarrassment and humiliation.

Fear is often the base emotion on which anger floats. Oppressed people rage against their oppressors because they fear—or actually experience—loss of autonomy and even ego-death. The destruction of a culture or a religion by an invading occupier may be experienced as a kind of collective ego-death. Those who make us fearful will also make us angry.

Religious bigotry and intolerance may express the fear of ego-death on a cosmic level, and can even extend to existential anxiety: "If my god isn't the right god, or the best god, then I'll be stuck without a god. Without god on my side, I'll be at the mercy of the impersonal forces of the environment. My ticket could be canceled at any moment, without a reason."

Some of our fears, of course, have basic survival value. Others, however, are learned reflexes that can be weakened or re-learned.

That strange idea of "fearing our fears" becomes less strange when we realize that many of our avoidance reactions—turning down an invitation to a party if we tend to be uncomfortable in groups; putting off a doctor's appointment; or not asking for a raise—are instant reflexes that are reactions to the memories of fear. They happen so quickly that we don't actually experience the full effect of the fear. We experience a "micro-fear"—a reaction that's a kind of shorthand code for the real fear. This reflex reaction has the same effect of causing us to evade and avoid as the real fear. This is why it's fairly accurate to say that many of our so-called fear reactions are actually the fears of fears.

When we let go of our notion of fear as the welling up of evil forces within us—the Freudian motif—and begin to see fear and its companion emotions as basically information, we can think about them consciously. And the more clearly and calmly we can articulate the origins of the fear, the less our fears will frighten us and control us.

 shared article from:

www. psychologytoday.com , date accessed 26 September 2014

P-Square - Ejeajo [Official Video] ft. T.I.

Alanis- Morissete's Interview - Fame Trauma

Last sunday's "SuperSoulSunday" was phenomenal on issues like, eating disorder, anxiety, depression, trauma, love addiction yes..love addiction, fame and how Alanis Morissette found healing.  This is a must watch, if you missed make a point to watch this powerful interview.  Find our archives link to the full episode and gain life skills at:

"Oprah sits down with seven-time Grammy award-winning singer/songwriter Alanis Morissette for a conversation about passion, art and the spiritual lessons that have helped her remain grounded despite the roller-coaster ride of stardom and success. "  - Own - Supersoul Sunday, live streamed 21 September 2014

Full-Episode-Alanis-Morissette-Video - live-streamed  on 21 September 2014

Alanis Morisette's Music:

Big sur - Alanis Morisettes - Youtube collection

Jagged Little Pill - By Alanis Morissette - Youtube collection



source:

www.oprah.com/supersoul sunday - global live-streammed 21 September 2014
and
Youtube - shared music of Alanis Morisette.

Day 4 :: Bodyweight Boot Camp #WorkoutWednesday

Today is Day 4, of the #TotalFit Challenge and you are about to get what you’ve been asking for….a #ShutUpAndTrain session and I have a Bonus Motivational Music Mixtape! We also have a fun Social Photo Contest, and I can’t wait to see you all getting active. OK, let’s go!

Bonus: Motivational Music Mixtape (Powered by: #KillCliff)

Wouldn’t you agree Good music makes everything better.. Click the artwork to download, and be sure to give a shout to @DjToure & @DjArkitek for blessing us with the tunes…. And thanks to our Sponsor KillCliff!

DOWNLOAD – Powered by: #KillCliff

Social Media Photo Contest

For today’s Social Photo Contest, have your partner take a photo of you doing today’s exercise and post w/ hastags #TotalFit  #WorkoutWednesday  #KillCliff

Bodyweight Boot Camp | #WorkoutWednesday

@Mrshutupandtrain w/ guest trainer Rachel Elizabeth Murray @CauseFitness

I must admit, The TotalFit Body Weight Bootcamp w/ my West Coast FitFam Rachel Elizabeth Murray is a beast of a workout. All I ask is that you give it a try. If you can’t complete the entire workout, pick a few of the exercises and give them a go! Remember, the only workout that you’ll ever regret is the one that you don’t do!!
Watch the video and see the screenshots below. Let’s get into it!!
*Correction: My apologies, in the video at the :50 sec mark, there is a slight error. The correct rep set count is listed below:

Warmup

5 exercises

20 reps of each exercise

1) Body Weight Squats

2) Lateral Shuffles

3)  Wood Chops

4) High Knees

5) Butt Kickers

Now that you’re warm, let’s get into the workout… This is a tough workout, you may want to start with the beginner level. Let’s #ShutUpandTrain!
*Correction: In the video at the :50 sec mark, there is a slight error. The correct rep set count should be:

Beginners	3 rounds w/ 10 reps of each exercise
Intermediate	4 rounds w/ 20 reps of each exercise
Advanced	5 rounds w/ 30 reps of each exercise

1) Burpees (total body)

2) Crawl Down Pushups w/ Travel Step (chest & core)

3) Squat/Squat Jump (legs/plyo)

4) Spider Man Plank (core)

5) Diving Dog (core/shoulders/triceps)

Today was tough, Great Job if you completed the workout!!

Remember to drink plenty of water and rehydrate. Remember to continue eating clean and sticking to the rules. Til tomorrow…

Share:

source: www.totalfit.com - dated accessed 24 September 2014

13 Ways To Beat Stress In 15 Minutes Or Less

• By Yelena Shuster

Ever felt like you just can't unwind after a demanding week? That's because stress triggers your body's fight or flight response: your adrenaline starts pumping, your heart beats faster, and your blood pressure rises, explains Ash Nadkarni, M.D., an associate psychiatrist at Brigham & Women's Hospital. "Long-term overexposure to stress hormones can cause increased risk of health problems such as anxiety, depression, heart disease, weight gain, and memory and concentration problems," Dr. Nadkarni adds.
That's not exactly a relaxing thought. So what should you do when calming classics like downward-facing dog and chamomile tea don't work? Check out these alternative ways to de-stress recommended by experts and recent studies.

Wake up early.


It may feel counterintuitive to deprive yourself of sleep, but giving yourself an extra 15 to 20 minutes before you head out the door will leave you feeling more refreshed -- and less frazzled. "Take time in the morning to center yourself," says San Francisco-based psychologist Leslie Carr, Psy.D. "A lot of people shoot out into their days like a rocket ship and it never gets better from there."
Consider that caffeine takes 20 minutes to be metabolized for you to feel its effect. During that time, think about your goals for the day or read something inspirational. You might find that your normally crazy day goes a little smoother.

Create a soothing space.
Research suggests that warm colors like red excite you and cooler, muted colors like blue, green, or grey relax you, says Molly Roberts, M.D., president of the American Holistic Medical Association -- but surrounding yourself in any color you find soothing can help bring on calm. "The theory behind the use of color therapy is that colors enter the eyes, which then send messages along the nerve pathways to the area of the brain that regulates emotion," Roberts says. "There are a lot of ways to surround yourself with colors that can ease stress throughout the day." Her suggestions: at home, paint an accent wall; and at the office, drape a soothing-colored scarf over the back of your chair and change your computer screensaver.

Clean out your junk drawers.
When you're feeling emotionally drained, chances are whipping out your Swiffer is the last thing you want to do. But the truth is, tidying up your home can also tidy up your mind. "Having a mindset of de-cluttering helps to manage stress," says Lauren Napolitano, Psy.D., a psychologist at Bryn Mawr Hospital in Pennsylvania. "Purging unused items gives a sense of order to your physical environment, which helps you feel calmer about your stressors." She suggests starting with a small project, like your kitchen junk drawer. "Tangible or visible organization leads to emotional organization," Napolitano says. If you're ready to take it up a notch, schedule monthly donation pickups with Goodwill to keep yourself in the de-cluttering habit.

Visualize your stressful thoughts.

Your coworker just threw you under the bus. Your husband forgot to walk the dog. When it's that kind of day, try thought diffusion, "a sort of visual mindfulness meditation, a way to sweep out whatever is buzzing around unhelpfully in your head," says Erin Olivo, Ph.D., an assistant professor of medical psychology at Columbia University and author of Wise Mind Living: Master Your Emotions, Transform Your Life.
Here's how it works: Imagine your thoughts are like clouds in the sky, and let them drift by above you. "When you begin to observe your thoughts as mental objects that simply come and go, they become less unpleasant, less threatening and less emotionally powerful," Olivo says.

Watch cat videos.
There's a reason Buzzfeed links are popping up all over your newsfeed. There's nothing that will relieve some tension like watching a baby masterfully dancing to Beyonce or a cat riding a Roomba in a shark costume.
"After a stressful day, looking at these funny things actually activates the part of the brain that delivers tranquility and a calm physiological response," says Rose Hanna, a relationship counselor and professor of psychology and women's studies at California State University Long Beach. "This decreases anxiety and helps tremendously with reducing stress."

Sing your heart out.
The next time you're feeling strung out, start belting it out. As sound reverberates through the body, your mind relaxes, whether singing in a chorus or meditatively chanting om, says Rita Eichenstein, Ph.D., a neuropsychologist at Cedars-Sinai Medical Towers in Los Angeles.
Singing has even been found to reduce levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) in the body, and one case study revealed that singing prior to surgery reduced blood pressure (more research is needed). Not ready to unleash your inner Rihanna? Start by singing in the shower. "Singing tunes you love brings up positive memories and takes your mind off the stressors," Eichenstein says.

Start a scrapbook.


We'll admit it: stickers and colored construction paper seem so kindergarten. But getting in touch with your crafty side has mental health benefits. Think of it as your adult playtime. "Scrapbooking helps you focus, which diverts you away from stressful and difficult emotions, and also helps you feel connected to the people you're scrapbooking about," says Nina Savelle-Rocklin, Psy.D., a Los Angeles-based psychotherapist. And no, Pinterest boards don't count. "There's something about the tactile element of scrapbooking -- cutting, pasting, positioning -- that is probably more relaxing that posting online," Savelle-Rocklin adds.

Pick up a physical hobby.
If scrapbooking isn't your thing, try to find another activity to occupy your time. "What stress does to someone's mind is flood it with thoughts," explains Nadkami. "All of these thoughts knock about your head and they make you feel overwhelmed." Sound familiar? The best way to stop the stress spiral is by refocusing your mind on one thought: Gardening focuses you on the physical feeling of the soil that you can hold in your hands. Knitting concentrates your thoughts on the predictability of loops of yarn. "The important thing is that you channel your energy into one thing and this, in turn, relaxes your mind by eliminating all of the distracting stresses," says Nadkarni.

Clench your muscles (then release).
This technique was developed in the 1930's and has been recommended ever since. "The idea behind progressive muscle relaxation is to first create muscle tension, then relaxation, to provide physical relief. A relaxed body often leads to a relaxed mind," says Savelle-Rocklin.
Start by getting into a comfortable position, like lying down in loose clothing. Tense and relax each muscle group for five seconds at a time, starting with your forehead, then moving down to your eyes, lips, hands, forearms, shoulders, back, stomach, hips, thighs, feet and, finally, your toes. If any muscle remains tense after the sequence, tighten and relax it three or four times. Massage, shmassage.

Take deep breaths.


No matter if you're checking out in the supermarket or waiting to pick up your kids from school, take one minute to breathe deeply through your nose into your abdomen, says Roswell, Georgia-based physical therapist Samuel A. Mielcarski. He advises resting your hands over your lower ribcage or abdomen to help cue deeper breathing. "Breathing fully and deeply into the abdomen brings about a sense of calm because more oxygen is getting delivered to the body's cells, which helps the body to relax," explains Olivo. "This type of breathing also helps to increase what is known as the ‘relaxation response,' which is connected to the parasympathetic nervous system involved with calming the body."

Write mental thank you notes.
Change the course of your stressful thoughts with a form of cognitive behavioral therapy, suggests marriage and family therapist Alisa Ruby Bash, who practices in Beverly Hills, California. "Before stress gets worse, it's so important to learn to harness your thoughts," she says. "For example, when you notice the tension in your body, picture a big red stop sign. Immediately switch your thinking to start mentally focusing on all the things you are grateful for. Look around you to include anything you find beautiful or pleasant in your present moment." Store a gratitude list on your smartphone so you can reference it any time things get hectic.

Feel your pressure points.
You're stuck in traffic and feeling like you're going to explode. Time to try pressure point therapy, a form of acupuncture you can practice on your own. "Pressure to certain points on the body can help to release muscular tension and promote blood circulation," says Mielcarski. It's easiest to start with the Third Eye Point, the space between your eyebrows where the bridge of your nose meets your forehead. Place your middle and index finger on it and hold the position for one to two minutes using gentle to firm pressure.

Smell the roses.


Research is mixed on scent therapy, but anyone who's sniffed a bouquet of roses or breathed in the smell of the ocean knows that certain scents can be soothing. Brooklyn-based therapist and social worker La Shawn M. Paul recommends adding a few drops of your favorite scent to coconut oil after a relaxing bath so that the scent can linger longer. "It is believed that once inhaled, the scents alter the mood by stimulating various parts of the brain associated with emotion," Paul says. Or try a scent that reminds you of nature, suggests Napolitano. "Smells like salt water or fresh rain are especially calming because they help you to think of life outside of your current stressor."

source: shared
www. http://www.huffingtonpost.com, date accessed 22 September 2014

BENEFITS OF TEAS

Posted on 22 September 2014


Take a look at the benefits of different teas and indulge:

• from cancer prevention, control of allergies, anti-inflamation to pain relieve.

 Link:   Benefits of tea


Let get back to the roots and  "leaves" as you join me in enjoying different teas, and benefit from natural products that are available in our market.

What teas are you indulging in right now and what are the benefits?



Link source:

http://www.doctoroz.com/slideshow/health-benefits-tea

Alanis Morisette Music

The best of Alanis Morisette

Music by Alanis Morisette

Guardian

Emphathy

Greatest hits - 1992 - 2012

The Collection - full album

Ironic

source:  www.facebook/gracevine page, through shared accessed on 21 September 2014

TOTAL FIT GROUP

Want to join a free work out day fitness challenge with “Mr. Shut-up and Train” ?  Training starts on September 21st.   Log on to http://www.totalfitgroup.com/challenge/ and register for free access.

It's tough but quite effective - works best when you have a work-out buddy or in a small group.

TotalFitGroup

Change your body, change how people see you, but more importantly, change how you see yourself!! Celebrity Personal Trainer, Mr. Shutup & Train and his team of experts are bringing the latest exercise and nutrition techniques used on today’s Professional Athletes and Hollywood’s stars to you! Sign u…

totalfitgroup.com

The Diet That May Fight Breast Cancer

Can eating right really protect you against the C word? The latest research points to yes.

Getty Images

Which of these foods lowers your chances of developing breast cancer the most: blueberries, salmon or quinoa?

Sorry—trick question. The truth is, we don't know. While it's true that individual foods contain chemicals that may lower cancer risk, the most recent thinking is that their cancer-fighting powers work best when they're eaten as part of an overall healthy dietary pattern. "It's not just what you eat—it's also what you don't eat," explains Cynthia Thomson, PhD, professor at the College of Public Health at the University of Arizona. "Adopting the right eating plan and getting regular exercise can significantly lower your risk of breast cancer. There's no medication that can provide that kind of protection for average-risk women."


Read on for the simple nutritional moves that can make a huge difference to your health.

Consume colorful produce

Fruits and veggies with a deep hue (think dark green spinach, red tomatoes, orange carrots and the like) are packed with carotenoids, plant pigments that act as antioxidants and could lower your breast cancer odds. In fact, Harvard Medical School researchers reported in 2012 that women with carotenoid levels in the top 20% of the measured range had a 15 to 20% reduced risk of breast cancer compared with those who had the lowest levels.

"The evidence is pretty convincing, and it makes sense from a biological perspective since carotenoids soak up dangerous free radicals that can lead to DNA damage and cancer," says Heather Eliassen, ScD, lead author of the study. "We found a strong reduction in the risk of estrogen-receptor-negative [ER-] breast cancer in particular, which is exciting because that type of tumor, while rarer than estrogen-receptor-positive [ER+] tumors, tends to be aggressive."



But you don't have to limit yourself to only the most eye-popping fruits and vegetables. It turns out that cruciferous vegetables like cauliflower might lower risk too. And University of Arizona researchers recently reported that postmenopausal women who most closely adhered to the American Cancer Society's Guidelines on Nutrition and Physical Activity for Cancer Prevention, which include eating at least 2 1/2 cups of fruits and vegetables a day (no matter what kind or color), had a 22% lower risk of breast cancer than those who complied the least.

So if you like kale or Swiss chard, that's great. But don't stress out about cramming in any one type of berry or leaf to the exclusion of everything else. "The message here is not only to eat your vegetables but to eat lots of them—and eat a diverse mix," Thomson says. "Every kind of produce contains different vitamins and antioxidants, and they seem to work together to provide protection against cancer."

Downing lots of fruits and veggies likely also reduces your risk of esophageal, colorectal, gastric and lung cancers, per a research review by the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine (PCRM), a nonprofit based in Washington, D.C.

Eat less saturated fat
The question of whether dietary fat plays a role in breast cancer has proven controversial; some studies have found a link, while others haven't. But when European researchers recently looked at breast cancer by subtype, they found a connection between dietary fat intake and ER+/progesterone-receptor-positive (PR+) breast cancer, the most common type. The clearest culprit was saturated fat, found in red meat, butter and dairy products. Women in the study who consumed the most had a 28% higher risk of ER+/PR+ cancer than those who ate the least.


It's been hypothesized that saturated fat might pose a risk by raising levels of estrogen, which in high amounts can fuel ER+ tumors. That's supported by the fact that researchers found no connection between saturated fat consumption and ER-/PR- cancer (which isn't fueled by estrogen), according to Sabina Sieri, PhD, lead author of the study.

This isn't the first time saturated fat has been implicated in breast cancer. Earlier this year, after looking at the diets of almost 90,000 women, Harvard researchers reported that high intake of red meat early in adulthood is associated with a higher risk of breast cancer among premenopausal women. And in a series of studies last year, Duke University researchers showed that a by-product of cholesterol known as 27HC mimics estrogen and can drive the growth of ER+ breast cancer. "Our findings suggest that reducing cholesterol is one way to lower breast cancer risk," says Donald McDonnell, PhD, chair of the department of pharmacology and cancer biology at Duke University School of Medicine.

The takeaway: Limit saturated fat to 10% of your total daily calories. Consume plant and vegetable fats and oils, like olive oil, canola oil, avocados and nuts, instead of butter and other sources of saturated fat, and avoid trans fats (like those in some margarines, packaged cookies and crackers), which, like saturated fat, can raise LDL ("bad") cholesterol levels. "Substitute red meat with fish, poultry or beans whenever possible," Eliassen adds.

Avoiding red and processed meat may also lower your risk of colorectal cancer, according to the PCRM study.

Watch your drinking

Solid evidence continues to build that having more than one alcoholic beverage a day raises one's chances of breast cancer. "It increases risk by about 20%," says Cheryl Rock, PhD, professor in the department of family and preventive medicine at the University of California, San Diego School of Medicine.

Several years ago, one of the most thorough studies of booze and breast cancer, published in JAMA, found that risk starts at very low rates of consumption—less than a drink a day—and marches upward the more you imbibe. And women diagnosed with ductal carcinoma in situ—a noninvasive form of breast cancer—who drink more than others seem to have a greater chance of receiving a second diagnosis down the road.


Why is alcohol problematic? One theory, Rock explains, is that it raises blood levels of estrogen, which promotes the growth of breast cells, including those that are precancerous.

But that doesn't mean you can't ever enjoy a glass of wine. Unless you have significant risk factors, a glass of wine a day is probably fine, Rock says—especially since there are heart-health benefits associated with that amount. But if you have a strong family history or a BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene mutation, it's wise to drink rarely (or never), says Susan Levin, RD, director of nutrition education for the PCRM. "For high-risk women," she says, "the heart-health benefits don't outweigh the cancer dangers."


The PCRM study said that limiting alcohol may also reduce the risk of cancers of the mouth, larynx, esophagus, rectum and colon. We'll toast—only once—to that.

How Safe Is Soy?

Ask 10 friends whether soy is good for you, and you'll get entirely different answers. That may partly be because tofu, soybeans and soy milk contain isoflavones, substances our bodies convert into estrogenlike chemicals shown to sometimes stimulate the growth of breast cancer cells in lab animals.

But studies of people who eat a lot of soy suggest that these chemicals don't have that effect on us. "We now know that plant estrogen doesn't increase the risk of breast cancer and may even protect women who have had breast cancer from a recurrence," says Susan Levin, RD.

In 2012, Marji McCullough, ScD, strategic director of nutritional epidemiology for the American Cancer Society, concluded that moderate consumption of soy foods appears to be safe for all women, including those who have had breast cancer. (The jury is still out on soy supplements containing high concentrations of isolated soy compounds.) And a review in the American Society of Clinical Oncology 2013 Education Book reported that eating 10 to 20 milligrams of isoflavones from soy foods (roughly one to two servings) a day may be linked with a reduction in risk. Tell your friends!

3 Ways to Cook Smarter

Don't microwave in plastic (or put hot food or beverages in plastic containers): Scientists warn that estrogenlike chemicals could leach into your food by doing so—possibly even if you're using plastic that's free of a well-known culprit called bisphenol A (BPA), according to an article published in the journal Environmental Health Perspectives.

Eat more fresh food: Why? BPA and other hormone disruptors can be in food-can linings and plastic packaging. A study by Silent Spring Institute and the Breast Cancer Fund found that switching to a fresh-food diet and avoiding cans and plastic packaging led to the reduction of subjects' BPA levels by more than half in just three days.

Don't char your meat: "Those black lines and crispy bits contain heterocyclic amines [HCAs]—compounds associated with an increased risk of breast cancer," says Susan Levin, RD. (Grilling veggies is fine, she says, since HCAs are formed only from cooked animal muscle.)

 Related article:

14 Foods That Fight Inflammation

When inflammation is out of control—as in rheumatoid arthritis—it can damage the body. 

 

Credit: Getty Images

Is there an anti-inflammatory diet?

by Amanda MacMillan 

Inflammation is part of the body’s immune response; without it, we can't heal. But when it's out of control—as in rheumatoid arthritis—it can damage the body. Plus, it's thought to play a role in obesity, heart disease, and cancer.

Foods high in sugar and saturated fat can spur inflammation. “They cause overactivity in the immune system, which can lead to joint pain, fatigue, and damage to the blood vessels,” says Scott Zashin, MD, clinical professor at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center in Dallas.

Other foods may curb inflammation. Add these items to your plate today.

Fatty fish

Oily fish, like salmon, mackerel, tuna and sardines, are high in omega-3 fatty acids, which have been shown to help reduce inflammation. To get the benefits, however, you need to eat fish several times a week, and it should be cooked in healthy ways: In a 2009 study from the University of Hawaii, men who ate baked or boiled fish (as opposed to fried, dried, or salted) cut their risk of heart disease by 23% compared to those who ate the least.

Not a fan of fish? Consider fish-oil supplements. They can cut inflammation, although a 2013 study found that if a diet is too high in omega-6 fatty acids (found in processed foods and vegetable oil), fish-oil supplements may spur inflammation. 

Whole grains

Consuming most of your grains as whole grains, as opposed to refined, white bread, cereal, rice, and pasta can help keep harmful inflammation at bay. That’s because whole grains have more fiber, which has been shown to reduce levels of C-reactive protein, a marker of inflammation in the blood, and they usually have less added sugar.

But a 2013 Harvard study found that not all products labeled “whole grain” are much healthier than their refined counterparts. To be sure you’re getting the benefits, look for foods with a whole grain as the first ingredient, and no added sugars.

14 Foods That Fight Inflammation

When inflammation is out of control—as in rheumatoid arthritis—it can damage the body.

Credit: Getty Images

4 of 16

Dark leafy greens

Studies have suggested that vitamin E may play a key role in protecting the body from pro-inflammatory molecules called cytokines—and one of the best sources of this vitamin is dark green veggies, such as spinach, kale, broccoli, and collard greens. Dark greens and cruciferous vegetables also tend to have higher concentrations of vitamins and minerals—like calcium, iron, and disease-fighting phytochemicals—than those with lighter-colored leaves.

14 Foods That Fight Inflammation

When inflammation is out of control—as in rheumatoid arthritis—it can damage the body.

Credit: Getty Images

5 of 16

Nuts

Another source of inflammation-fighting healthy fats is nuts—particularly almonds, which are rich in fiber, calcium, and vitamin E, and walnuts, which have high amounts of alpha-linolenic acid, a type of omega-3 fat. All nuts, though, are packed with antioxidants, which can help your body fight off and repair the damage caused by inflammation. Nuts (along with fish, leafy greens, and whole grains) are a big part of the Mediterranean diet, which has been shown to reduce inflammation in as little as six weeks.

14 Foods That Fight Inflammation

When inflammation is out of control—as in rheumatoid arthritis—it can damage the body.

Credit: Getty Images

Soy

Several studies have suggested that isoflavones, estrogen-like compounds found in soy products, may help lower CRP and inflammation levels in women—and a 2007 animal study published in the Journal of Inflammation found that isoflavones also helped reduce the negative effects of inflammation on bone and heart health in mice.

Avoid heavily-processed soy whenever possible, which may not include the same benefits and is usually paired with additives and preservatives. Instead, aim to get more soy milk, tofu, and edamame (boiled soybeans) into your regular diet.

14 Foods That Fight Inflammation

When inflammation is out of control—as in rheumatoid arthritis—it can damage the body.

Credit: Getty Images

7 of 16

Low-fat dairy

Milk products are sometimes considered a trigger food for inflammatory diseases like rheumatoid arthritis, because some people have allergies or intolerances to casein, the protein found in dairy. But for people who can tolerate it, low-fat and nonfat milk are an important source of nutrients. Yogurt can also contain probiotics, which can reduce gut inflammation.

“Foods with calcium and vitamin D, such as yogurt and skim milk, are good for everyone,” says Karen H. Costenbader, MD, associate professor of medicine and rheumatoid arthritis doctor at Harvard Medical School. In addition to their anti-inflammatory properties, she says, “it is important to get enough calcium and vitamin D for bone strength, and possibly reduction of cancer and other health risks.” 

14 Foods That Fight Inflammation

When inflammation is out of control—as in rheumatoid arthritis—it can damage the body.

Credit: Getty Images

Peppers

“Colorful vegetables are part of a healthier diet in general,” says Dr. Costenbader. “As opposed to white potatoes or corn, colorful peppers, tomatoes, squash, and leafy vegetables have high quantities of antioxidant vitamins and lower levels of starch.” Bell peppers are available in a variety of colors, while hot peppers (like chili and cayenne) are rich in capsaicin, a chemical that’s used in topical creams that reduce pain and inflammation.

Peppers, however, are nightshade vegetables—which some doctors and patients believe can exacerbate inflammation in people with rheumatoid arthritis. “What helps one person may be harmful to another,” says Dr. Zashin. “You just need to pay attention to your diet and your symptoms, and stick with what works for you.

14 Foods That Fight Inflammation

When inflammation is out of control—as in rheumatoid arthritis—it can damage the body.

Credit: Getty Images

Tomatoes

Tomatoes, another nightshade veggie, may also help reduce inflammation in some people. (Of course, Dr. Zashin’s advice about what works for you, individually, applies here, as well.)

Juicy red tomatoes, specifically, are rich in lycopene, which has been shown to reduce inflammation in the lungs and throughout the body. Cooked tomatoes contain even more lycopene than raw ones, so tomato sauce works, too—and a 2012 Iranian study found that tomato juice consumption was also beneficial.

14 Foods That Fight Inflammation

When inflammation is out of control—as in rheumatoid arthritis—it can damage the body.

Credit: Getty Images

Beets

This vegetable’s brilliant red color is a tip-off to its equally brilliant antioxidant properties: Beets (and beetroot juice) have been shown to reduce inflammation, as well as protect against cancer and heart disease, thanks to their hearty helping of fiber, vitamin C and plant pigments called betalains

14 Foods That Fight Inflammation

When inflammation is out of control—as in rheumatoid arthritis—it can damage the body.

Credit: Getty Images

Ginger and turmeric

These spices, common in Asian and Indian cooking, have been shown in various studies to have anti-inflammatory properties. “While the evidence in terms of RA inflammation is not very strong, they are vegetables—and part of a healthy, vegetable-rich diet,” says Dr. Costenbader.

Turmeric, the ingredient that gives curry its yellow color, works in the body by helping to turn off a NF-kappa B, a protein that regulates the immune system and triggers the process of inflammation, researchers say. Its relative ginger, meanwhile, has been shown to reduce inflammation in the intestines when taken in supplement form.

14 Foods That Fight Inflammation

When inflammation is out of control—as in rheumatoid arthritis—it can damage the body.

Credit: Getty Images

Garlic and onions

There’s a good reason why these pungent vegetables are known for their immunity-boosting properties. In test-tube and animal studies, garlic has been shown to work similarly to NSAID pain medications (like ibuprofen), shutting off the pathways that lead to inflammation. Onions contain similar anti-inflammatory chemicals, including the phytonutrient quercetin and the compound allicin, which breaks down to produce free radical-fighting sulfenic acid.

14 Foods That Fight Inflammation

When inflammation is out of control—as in rheumatoid arthritis—it can damage the body.

Credit: Getty Images

Olive oil

“Anything that fits into a heart-healthy diet is probably also good for inflammation—and that includes healthy, plant-based fats like olive oil,” says Dr. Zashin, author of Natural Arthritis Treatment ($13; amazon.com). In fact, a 2010 Spanish study found that the Mediterranean diet’s myriad health benefits may be largely due to its liberal use of olive oil, especially the extra-virgin kind. The compound oleocanthal, which gives olive oil its taste, has been shown to have a similar effect as NSAID painkillers in the body.

14 Foods That Fight Inflammation

When inflammation is out of control—as in rheumatoid arthritis—it can damage the body.

Credit: Getty Images

Berries

All fruits can help fight inflammation, because they’re low in fat and calories and high in antioxidants. But berries, especially, have been shown to have anti-inflammatory properties—possibly because of anthocyanins, the powerful chemicals that gives them their rich color.

Studies have shown, for example, that red raspberry extract helped prevent animals from developing arthritis; that blueberries can help protect against intestinal inflammation and ulcerative colitis; and that women who eat more strawberries have lower levels of CRP in their blood

.

shared source:

www.health.com, date accessed 21 September 2014

BrainSnacks

Practical intelligence for all

by Karl Albrecht, Ph.D.

Change Your Words and Change Your World

How to stop using the language of powerlessness.

Published on September 15, 2014 by Karl Albrecht, Ph.D. in BrainSnacks

posted on this blog on 21 September 2014 

Aleksandr Markin/Shutterstock

Former actress Robin Givens, interviewed for a recent Time magazine article about partner abuse by celebrity athletes, described her experience of being beaten by heavyweight boxer Mike Tyson. Her choice of words reveals a verbal pattern that’s one of the telltale markers for the mindset of powerlessness. In the conceptual realm of psychosemantics, it’s known as displacement—switching from I pronouns to you pronouns.

Note the alternation between the two patterns in her quotes:

“People ask why I didn’t leave after I was hit the first time. . . . But you feel such inner turmoil and confusion. You want it to be only one time.”
“And for three days after that incident I did the right thing. I said, ‘Don’t call me. I never want to see you again.’ . . . . But then you start taking his phone calls. Then he asks to see you in person, and you say yes to that. Then you have a big giant man crying like a baby on your lap, and next thing you know, you’re consoling him.”

The pronoun switching, typically unconscious, has the effect of priming the listener’s forgiveness, by projecting the inclination for the same self-defeating behavior upon the listener. “You might have done the same thing,” the syntax implies; “it wasn’t my fault.” This is a fairly typical psychosemantic maneuver of abdication—surrendering the authority and responsibility to act in one’s own self-interest.

Listen to people who have power in and over their lives, and compare the language they use to the language of those who, for whatever reason, may feel disempowered. You’re likely to hear two subtly different narratives. One is the narrative of cause and effect. The other, figuratively, is the narrative of “effect and cause.”

Getting behind the words for a moment, we can recognize two distinctly different mindsets, or mental states. When someone is at the place of “cause,” psychologically speaking, he or she acts from an intention, seeks an outcome, and has a plan, however elementary it might be.

And when one is at the place of “effect,” one perceives and conceives of himself or herself as on the receiving end of the intentions and actions of others. Things are done to this person, not by them.
Let’s not over-generalize: Being “at effect” has its value at times. When someone is giving you a massage or some other pleasant sensory experience, “effect” is a great place to be. Being nurtured, comforted, and cared for can be a very satisfying experience.

The strategic choice, moment to moment, is whether to act from the place of cause or the place of effect. On average, you’re more powerful in your life when you act and react from the place of cause. Conversely, you may be a victim in your life to the extent that you refuse to take responsibility for your behavior and its consequences. Language behavior is just as real and revealing as any other kind of behavior. It telegraphs its state of origin.

So can you really change your attitudes about life just by changing the words you use to frame your thoughts? It might sound a bit simplistic, but consider that the structure of your language is the software of your brain—or, at least, one important kind of software.

Which comes first, a thought or the words that frame it? Many semanticists would claim that they arise simultaneously in the brain. When we habitually say something in a certain way, we’re predisposed to think about it in terms of the subtle implications of the words we’ve chosen. Language evokes thought, and thought evokes language.

You might begin by listening more carefully for the subtle cues of cause and effect—capacity and incapacity—in the conversations around you. “My girlfriend treats me like dirt"; “My parents never let me do what I want to"; "Yes, he has a bad temper, but I can’t leave him right now; he needs me"; "I was trying to lose weight, but I fell off the wagon"; "I can’t afford that right now.”

The language of powerlessness seems to pervade much of the popular culture and its discourse, even its music. And not just today: Remember, one of Frank Sinatra’s best-known songs was “You’re Nobody ‘til Somebody Loves You.”

But today, too many political activists preach a victim narrative to their target audiences. “Society,” they tell their listeners, is somehow holding them back, keeping them down, preventing them from participating in the good life. But maybe it’s really the speakers, and their disempowering narrative, holding them back.
There’s a lot more to the psychology of cause and effect, but a good starting point for most of us would be to clean up our language. The famous motivational psychologist Norman Vincent Peale often said, “Change your thoughts, and you change your world.” Maybe it’s time to update that advice: Change your words, and you change your world.



source:

www.psychologytoday.com, date accessed 21 September 2014- shared article

Transcript of Paulo Coelho's, Author of The Alchemist, interview with Oprah

Part 1 of the interview of Paulo Coelho, author of The Alchemist by  Oprah

MARKING 25 anniversary of the Alchemist

Quote”

“God will only ask you one question?  Did you love enough and if so welcome...”  -P Coelho

-Will smith – he says he can create whatever he wants to create through the book.

It is a spiritual guide book for our times.  65 million copies so far sold.  It has been translated to the most languages in the world.  We are still learning form this book.

He is impressed at the 25 anniversary of the book and it is still NY best seller’s book.  He is enthusiastic about his work.  The book built and grew and was Madonna favourite book where she said it changed her life.  Thereafter everyone passed it on and on. 

Bill Clinton was filmed reading the book.  Celebrities  like  Julie Roberts also read the book.  Every time you read it you learn something new from the book.  He is also amazed how he wrote the book in two weeks. 

“When you want something all the universe conspires to help you” – quote.

He started knocking doors and informed them he had a book and it was published.  This was fate!  In your personal legend you are guided to meet the right person at the right moment. 

Readers quote – “You are on the right path, it is making a decision and taking steps towards that direction – reader’s comments

The universe works on your behalf and not against you.  – if you realize that you achieve much – readers comments –

Where did those words, theme come from:  “  The universe……………..”

He learned this from what he experienced in life in that whatever he wanted he got whether positive or negative.  The conscious mind attracts tragedy as you want to be a victim and to justify failures, the universe is helping.  It is based on how you think consciously and project.    

We almost discover our personal legend.  We all have our personal legend.  What is a personal legend? -  it is the reason we are here, it is  that simple as to honor the miracles of life.  To fulfill your hours of the day is something that is meaningless.  It the only thing that give you enthusiasm  and you know when you betray your legend when you do something without enthusiasm.    Not being ready is just an excuse, i.e waiting for the right moment, your family wants to see you happy ,and not doing  work that you don’t like.  The clue to know your personal legend or purpose is to know what you are enthusiastic about.

God guides you if you are honest even if you take wrong steps.  God recognized you have a pure heart and will put you back on tract.  “(As the universe rises up to me wherever you are with your heart). – (MY FAVOURITE – Margaret Maingi)

The reason we are here is a mystery until we die.  When we face God may be we will know.  God will ask only one question?  Did you love enough?  If you say yes, welcome to heaven if you say no you are in the limbo. 

It is not only romantic love, it means did you open your heart to fully embrace every moment.  Did you love fully everybody and everything, so it means. 

The book – Alchemist

People try to hide their dreams , they know their dream but are not brave enough to fulfill them.  Real courage is being able to step up and live that dream regardless of the fears.    He dreamed to be a writer.  Most write ones and then stop as they are afraid the next book won’t work. 

The world’s greatest lie is that you loose control of your life.  There is this establishment that tells you you cannot control anymore anything.  Is the biggest lie, and that you have to obey some rules that are not your rules.  His parents tried to bribe him not to become a writer by asking him to be an engineer.   They thought he was crazy as he did not obey their rules as other teens were obeying their parents to become lawyers, engineers etc and was put into a mental institute as he wanted to be an artist.  The parent said artist drink to death and the family cannot stand it as is shameful to to have one in the family so they wanted to control him and  hence they put him into a mental institute.  They actually thought he was crazy as he did not want to go to university.  He could not conform to the idea of what a son should be so he was put into a mental institute.    He escaped the mental institute three times.

How did he learn the language of life?

Page 146 – don’t give into your fears, if you do you won’t be able to talk to your heart.

Every heart is very fearful.  Heart is like a flower it can be brave but can be easily hurt.  So talk through  your heart as a tough person.  He still fears a lot of things.  But one would  not give up.  People fear they will not fulfill their supreme potential.   He thinks if God bestowed him with this potential, then what else and else it is not enough.  We are hear to improve the state of the world.

Innocence is not naivety – look at everything like you are seeing it for the first time and learn what you have to learn. – quote.

The Sheppard boy in the alchemist learned to follow the sign.  You only learn this language by making mistakes and paying attention.  If the universe is there to teach you the right signs and when you take the wrong steps it corrects you.  The Sheppard boy realized that the sheep did no need to be awaken up but there was a rhythm in the air, there was a free flow.  He learned when he understand that the universe what not focused around him, when you think that you are the only one who exist, he had a sensation that he was alive, and he is not the centre of the universe, he said he has to pay attention to what is going on.

Courage is important and if the first spiritual quality one need to have. You don’t need to believe or have a connection with God but needs to have courage.  It is the most important to understand the language of the world.  Otherwise you start to reduce the world to things you cant explain.  You become fluent by starting to DARE.  If you don’t know the fear of the unknown the unknown and the world will be kind to you.  

Listen to your heart, it knows all things as it comes from the soul of the world and it will go  back there and as water goes up and it fall back down again, there is an endless cycle.   Alchemist was in control of his destiny are we?  Depends the door has to entries of compassion and discipline.  You need to set a moment in your life for discipline and moments to be guided by life.  By paying attending to the momens around you.  If you want something stand aside and let it arrive to you.  Oprah, restates this as - having the will power, the desire, the enthusiasm and then you surrender to the flow. 

What is the difference of Destiny and fate.  Fate is when you think you have no choice and are going to die in the end.  Destiny is - How you get there and it is up to you.  Every one will die but how you get there is upto you.  Your destiny is  your way to your fate. 

Always listen to your heart it will take you to the direction of your dreams. Page 136. –(Feelings – I call it )– Margaret Maingi)

Before a dream is realized the soul of the world tests everything that was learned along the way.  We are tried in the way so that we master the lessons we learned.  When the test comes, that’s when people give up.  Life tests you a lot but don’t loose your faith.

PART 2 – of the interview

Quote - If you think big you become big, if you think small you become small.

How to discover your own personal legend or purpose.

Paulo was born in 1947 , in a devoted catholic home.  As a teenagee he yearned to be a writer but parent thought he was mad and was committed to a  mental institute three times. He later enrolled in law school but fate had other plans and he became a writer. 

He engaged in a hippy life and became a political activist  and wrote rock songs.  He went back to the catholic believe and he had an epiphany that gave him the desire to write. 

He has written 31 books.  Alchemist has sold over 65 million copies.

He wrote and became the famous man who wrote the book of the century  - the thought of the millennium: “The universe inspires….”  He wrote he will reach his ideal of being famous and projected it.    Like Jimmy carry wrote a check of a million dollar and put it in his chest and it became.  When you think big your world becomes big.  Self fulfilling prophecy.

Asked did I write the Alcahemist ? He is not sure, but he was an instrument. He went through an ordeal in his life whatever he was three.  Then he wrote this book he thinks is better than he is.  He manifested and everybody has this possibility. 

MJ - she read a story that MJ when he did thriller, that his greatest fear was that he could not repeat the phenomena of thriller and he kept chasing and chasing it. Not knowing it was the phenomenon.  She also realized the OpraH show was a phenomenon.  One should do what they are enthusiastic about.  Paulo wrote… and thought he could not continue to wait and started to write. 

As a teen, his parent sent him to a mental institute three time.  Here he learned that I could never run for presidency as he people would say he was in a mental institute.  Second the thought I am crazy so i can do anything I want, as people thought he was crazy.

He started writing lyrics for song and was making money and his parents were impressed. The sister fulfilled all the parent’s wishes as she thought, she was going to be the good girl an compensate for Paulo,  but they were surprised  when he made more money than she was as a chemical engineer so they relaxed as he was crazy and could still make money.

Our only obligation is to discover our personal legend.

Alchemist Is a road map of how to lead our live - readers comments.

Receive all the gifts in the book – readers comments.

Sex drug and rock and roll and travelling – he lived as a hippy and learned how to leave out of nothing, in the USA all over the world.   He crossed NY to mexico as a hippie.  His personal legend was to be a writer.

The journey to Santiago changed his life, he kept saying he was working on a book but he was not writing, so the journey taught him that if he wants to be a writer he has to write, as he said he was a writer but was not writing anything.  (NICE ONE, I like – self).

He wasn’t happy with his work as it lacked enthusiasm.  He told his wife they had all but lacked joy and asked her if they could go try and find meaning of life with all their chums.  OUR ONLY OLBIGATION IS TO FIND OUR PERSONAL LEGEND, HONOR AND FULFIL IT.

Alchemist , Every person has a destiny and not everyone will know and fulfill it.  Oprah calls it your purpose instead of personal legend.   But everyone knows but people don’t accept it and hence don’t do it.  People postpone and then realize they will never fulfill their dreams.   

Metaphor of life – there are obstacles that take us out of our way but as long as you get back on tract that’s fine. Do what you want not just know what you want to do.  If a gardener, then be a gardener.  Parents ask kids to go to college but if you enjoy the soil and then you are convinced to do otherwise it is not good for you both as you are creating the order of frustration in yourselves.

Reflection:  ….

What is your personal legend – to be a great wife, parent???

Do not betray your heart the book says.

The alchemist – he was told it would not sell.  And it was up to him to say a - let me write another one but it was also up to him so say no.  “I believe in this book and I will fight for this book”   When is a no a no?  Ops asks.   Sometimes a no is a no, but if you listen to your heart it is never a NO.  YOU HAVE TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOUR HEART AND YOUR HEAD.

Dreams are the language of God.  Is the language of God same as the language of the world?

Yes.  Dream is the moment we connect to the so called language of the world and may not understand but if you pay attention, there is a symbol and if you put the symbols together then you understand. 

The publishers did not like the title.  As people don’t know what an alchemist is and he said “but that is the title of my book”   Now he has power to say No.  The publishers wanted to call the book the Sheppard and his dream.

He was not afraid when told he had cancer. 

The fear of suffering is worse than suffering itself, tell your heart and that no heart does not suffer when it goes for search of its dreams – derricks police officers, best quote of the book.

We all have to listen to your heart.

Why do we human’s respond to the hero’s journey?  We have personal bliss or personal legend or destiny; we are here for a reason.  It resonates as everyone wants to take the hero’s journey but most don’t as we are AFRAID.

He had a severe heart blockage; He did a stress test after pressure from a friend and was not afraid as did not have time to be afraid.  He said if I die tomorrow, I spend half my life with the woman I loved, but people say I have done this and that, he has no regrets as he did everything he knew how.  He fought for his dream and did not take no for an answer. 

SOUL TO SOUL QUESTIONS TO PAULO

He believed in his book and it was great to believe and have courage to believe in his work – Readers comments

What is his definition of God? -  I am who I am

What is the difference between spirituality vs religion – religion is sharing same mystery, spirituality is our responsibility as you cannot blame the imam or priest for our attitude.

Longest lesson he has taken to learn and is still learning - HUMILITY. 

What happens when we die?  – He does not know but will tell when he dies.  Ha!

What does the world need - LOVE

His greatest passion – is to live everyday

Soul of the world is you and I.

He is fullest in the present moment – everyday; it can be anything that sparks it.

He thanks Oprah for using her power to improve the world. 

God’s blessings.

“non – verbatim” transcript. – for lifeskill’s

From Oprah’s super-soul Sunday episode -streamed live on 7^th and 14^th September 2014, www.oprah.com