ROB WELL and his wife's interview with Oprah
"Rob Bell, the charismatic author and pastor, and his wife, Kristen, have been married for more than 20 years and have had their share of disagreements. "One of the things that's really huge to us is to fight well," Rob says.
INTERVIEW: (non-verbatim) real time transcript
We are energy giving our energy. Every marriage has its own energy between two people.
People spend time thinking about the wedding, the wedding dress, the families list and not thinking about how their lives will be like. It is like that in romantic movies.
Create a live together.
Will this person embrace you at your worse. this is where you are bonded and find hope in life.
ART OF THEIR HOME - time capsule on the wall
A home should be full of love as is all you need.
True love is in the now and here.
They work together.
Be comfortable with the imperfections as that is life and enjoy the moment. It is not the destination it is the journey.
break over
book - the Zimzim of love
Create space for the other person to thrive..... hence the space has a great impact. the more positive you can bring in the better your relationship is.
Your marriage will be as healthy as the least health one of you. You bring your whole self and your baggage. What is yours is now ours. Even if you deny and push it down and think it wont affect, that affects all of you.
The first gift you give the other is to pursue your health self not the selfish self. etc.
See that the space between you there is so much stuff in you. you boss, etc, name the and see what comes between yourself. even when you are not saying it, those you haven't dealt with is in the space between yourselves.
In the zimzam there are other people in the space e.g in laws, eg their opinions The zimzam is the space between yourselves.
Jokes for a certain couples, the tensions, unresolved anxiety, while jocking, they are bringing other people into their space where others don't belong. Protect that place it should be protected by giving it attention.
Relationship can be like a business. each person knowing their roles. The zimzam flow precipitates. Take a dog for a walk and talk about your frustrations. It is a deeper zimzam. lets the other person in.
One question to ask the other is and how to fight well... next.....
break: piglets - that teaches the power of love.
How do you argue?
One shuts down and the husband tries to be funny even when it is not funny.
Why don't they see things the way I see. - Tell yourself - let me see they way they see things. Ask self what is it that they are seeing that I cannot see. You get a broader way of seeing or veiwing the world.
You may not agree but helps to ask yourself - how do they see it instead of why do you see it that way. many fights are created by trying to make others see things the ways you see . instead of seeing the other as a gift of the way they are seeing things, which makes you smarter and wiser.
Also ask what does your partner want in life. What are the three things that your partner wants in life. How many people can answer that. Ask: what is it that the other needs to thrive? come up with a list of the things your partner wants.
When you get into the space and stop holding back, or having score cards and, if you ask what do they need. It is moving towards the person instead of away from the person.
Marriage is creating something new for the world.......
............break .. enjoy life as you only get one chance....
To keep the love - ask - what is in the space between us. Close the gap. At times one person
- Happy, sad, success not, everything that comes your way is a way to find God in a each other in a new way each day. is the mystery of marriage. when your partner forgives you they are showing you what is.
challenges. - what happens to the zimzam then - when challenges come or when one goes through something, you have to hang on and trust that it is going to be better o the other side. The Book The Zimzam of love.
When he was distant for a while, she thought he didn't love her anymore when he didn't say goodnight and she thought this is how it is it is being shown. So she brought it up to him and he explained he was exhausted as he was pushing himself too hard. She thought he had energy for other people and not her. This was opening as they were able to open the conversation. He felt he wasnt doing what he was meant to do, they met a therapist and he realised then that thier ideas were being shaped to realise they were integrated and realised that everything one brings brings into he space betwen them.
I AM FOR YOU AND YOU FOR ME is an adventure together. Marrige is creating something new and not just an obligation or a duty. You create seomething new everyday and get into an adventure and wonder what will be produced through the challenges........ they create and procreate everyday. Look at challenges as " what will be procreated, what will you produce this time round and not as will we make throught it...... you end of procreating and its an adventure in life.....
break .....diferent authors describing love:
Love - is most felt when it is a verb and an action.
It is kindness. marriage is the spiritual journey. -Tracy McMillan
BOOK - RUDY by Cynthia Rudy- recommended book for Oprah's book club - great book
............break over
Rob and wife:
love - it is the most powerful force on earth
Video:
The-Right-Way-to-Fight-with-Your-Partner-Video
Reference:
www.oprah.com/supersoulsunday - livestreamed on 15 February 2015
"Rob Bell, the charismatic author and pastor, and his wife, Kristen, have been married for more than 20 years and have had their share of disagreements. "One of the things that's really huge to us is to fight well," Rob says.
The key to resolving conflict in any relationship, they say, is to ask one simple question: What am I not seeing here? "Help me see things the way you see them," Kristen says
The other person's perspective could change everything. "Because when you get married, you get a second set of eyes," Rob says.
- Live streamed on Super Soul Sunday February 15 at 11 a.m. ET/PT." www.oprah.com/supersoulsunday
INTERVIEW: (non-verbatim) real time transcript
We are energy giving our energy. Every marriage has its own energy between two people.
People spend time thinking about the wedding, the wedding dress, the families list and not thinking about how their lives will be like. It is like that in romantic movies.
Create a live together.
Will this person embrace you at your worse. this is where you are bonded and find hope in life.
ART OF THEIR HOME - time capsule on the wall
A home should be full of love as is all you need.
True love is in the now and here.
They work together.
Be comfortable with the imperfections as that is life and enjoy the moment. It is not the destination it is the journey.
break over
book - the Zimzim of love
Create space for the other person to thrive..... hence the space has a great impact. the more positive you can bring in the better your relationship is.
Your marriage will be as healthy as the least health one of you. You bring your whole self and your baggage. What is yours is now ours. Even if you deny and push it down and think it wont affect, that affects all of you.
The first gift you give the other is to pursue your health self not the selfish self. etc.
See that the space between you there is so much stuff in you. you boss, etc, name the and see what comes between yourself. even when you are not saying it, those you haven't dealt with is in the space between yourselves.
In the zimzam there are other people in the space e.g in laws, eg their opinions The zimzam is the space between yourselves.
Jokes for a certain couples, the tensions, unresolved anxiety, while jocking, they are bringing other people into their space where others don't belong. Protect that place it should be protected by giving it attention.
Relationship can be like a business. each person knowing their roles. The zimzam flow precipitates. Take a dog for a walk and talk about your frustrations. It is a deeper zimzam. lets the other person in.
One question to ask the other is and how to fight well... next.....
break: piglets - that teaches the power of love.
How do you argue?
One shuts down and the husband tries to be funny even when it is not funny.
A healthy way to fight - is to ask how else does this other person see this issues. as when you get married you get a second set of eyes. - EPIPHANY.
Why don't they see things the way I see. - Tell yourself - let me see they way they see things. Ask self what is it that they are seeing that I cannot see. You get a broader way of seeing or veiwing the world.
You may not agree but helps to ask yourself - how do they see it instead of why do you see it that way. many fights are created by trying to make others see things the ways you see . instead of seeing the other as a gift of the way they are seeing things, which makes you smarter and wiser.
Also ask what does your partner want in life. What are the three things that your partner wants in life. How many people can answer that. Ask: what is it that the other needs to thrive? come up with a list of the things your partner wants.
When you get into the space and stop holding back, or having score cards and, if you ask what do they need. It is moving towards the person instead of away from the person.
Marriage is creating something new for the world.......
............break .. enjoy life as you only get one chance....
To keep the love - ask - what is in the space between us. Close the gap. At times one person
- Happy, sad, success not, everything that comes your way is a way to find God in a each other in a new way each day. is the mystery of marriage. when your partner forgives you they are showing you what is.
challenges. - what happens to the zimzam then - when challenges come or when one goes through something, you have to hang on and trust that it is going to be better o the other side. The Book The Zimzam of love.
When he was distant for a while, she thought he didn't love her anymore when he didn't say goodnight and she thought this is how it is it is being shown. So she brought it up to him and he explained he was exhausted as he was pushing himself too hard. She thought he had energy for other people and not her. This was opening as they were able to open the conversation. He felt he wasnt doing what he was meant to do, they met a therapist and he realised then that thier ideas were being shaped to realise they were integrated and realised that everything one brings brings into he space betwen them.
I AM FOR YOU AND YOU FOR ME is an adventure together. Marrige is creating something new and not just an obligation or a duty. You create seomething new everyday and get into an adventure and wonder what will be produced through the challenges........ they create and procreate everyday. Look at challenges as " what will be procreated, what will you produce this time round and not as will we make throught it...... you end of procreating and its an adventure in life.....
break .....diferent authors describing love:
Love - is most felt when it is a verb and an action.
It is kindness. marriage is the spiritual journey. -Tracy McMillan
BOOK - RUDY by Cynthia Rudy- recommended book for Oprah's book club - great book
............break over
Rob and wife:
love - it is the most powerful force on earth
Video:
The-Right-Way-to-Fight-with-Your-Partner-Video
Reference:
www.oprah.com/supersoulsunday - livestreamed on 15 February 2015