Life skills from the insightful interview of best-seller
author and travel writer Pico Lyer with Oprah on March 8 2015 – Author of “The
art of Stillness”- about bringing stillness into our lives, discovering
our truest happiness and finding balance when making a living and how making a life
sometimes point us in opposite directions.
Picture source: http://www.oprah.com/app/super-soul-sunday.html
Video link to the full episode:
Or
available two weeks after lifestream (from 8 March 2015)
- Stillness and kindness are some peoples religion
or believe
- Taking time off seems selfish but it is through collecting
ourselves that we can give our loves ones our better self.
Interview: “non
verbatim due to real-time transcript”
True happiness can be found within not without (travel etc) by
being still and listening to self. Look
through your backyard and not any further.
Pico Lyer has been to every corner of the world and yet he
found what he need was stillness within himself.
Mr. Pico Lyer was caught up in the day to day life and did
not know if it was real happiness or not.
He thought at 29 years old that he needed to get out of it i.e. of
himself. At that age his consciousness
was at a different level – that young.
While on a visit to Asia, he saw temples and twits that changed color
and that changed him. He felt at home in
Asia.
Back home on a tragedy of his house going on fire he moved
from an apartment to a single room.
He has no car, bicycle and neither a TV. He feels when he wakes up the day expands to
him and like time has come to be like a cathedral but when he was working
earlier in life he had so much to do but had no time off to discover himself. He now lives in a rented place and had to lose
his material possessions in order not to lose himself.
He needed a few things in life. In NY he felt he was missing a lot but while
in Japan he did not feel like he was missing a lot of material things.
People sometimes lose everything either through divorce, disaster
or poverty and do not seem to pull up against it and see the moon. After his house went on fire, his attitude
was not of destructiveness, but he thought... “If he had five minutes he would
not have been alive. He felt deliberated
from another thing, following which for seven years he wrote notes instead of
using a pc, since he lost most of his possessions. He thought of what was essential in life than
what he had. Think what is more
essential in life than what you have?
When his house burned out he thought “Is that what he was calling
for when in Japan when he was enjoying life without having possessions? Be
careful what you ask for as the god’s may give it to you. Don’t ask or else you
get it.
He realized after the fire there was very little that he
needed in everyday life e.g. toothbrush.
Most important things is what you can do without.
We spend time wanting to take trips but the only trip is to
nowhere. (It’s in your backyard). He wanted to live this world knowing he had
lived.
If you take a trip, you spend time going through photos etc
for memories as if it gives you the raw material and the meaning of what you
collect.
Life is how we respond to experiences that matters. What do we make of it even when travelling? In difficult circumstances what is important
is what do we make out of such experiences.
STILLNESS
-
-Turn off the radio and other noises interfering with
your personal vibration
-
-And choose what enters into your space
-
-We get interrupted every 15 minutes. But stillness gives you sanity and you can
come back to life with kindness.
-
Luxury is when you collect yourself, stillness
and get perspective into your life.
He tries not to watch TV, and turns off all the lights and
radio in car, music in order to clear the space in ones minds. It is fresher and he sleeps better. The more you try to keep up with the latest
news the more you are interrupted.
We are bombarded with information all the time and to keep
away from it.
Stillness is about listening and you hearing voice wiser
than yourself (may be God or self) it makes us realize how small we are and are
not filling our minds with chatter. It
is deliberating and one lets what comes into them instead of things spinning into
your mind.
Sit still and let your mind relax and the thought that come
in are more invigorating than the ones you seek out.
One needs to be attentive, it is a luxury. Why do we lack patience?
We are living at the speed of light like machines but we
have to take measures to slow down e.g. meditate etc to keep ourselves in
balance.
How to stay still:
Stillness is available at every moment.
Close your eyes for 20 minutes and stay still, to gather
yourself. It is a tool everyone is
carrying at any moment. Give yourself moments of silence to centre yourself in
the day.
How can we incorporate this into our lives by trying to take
20 minutes at the beginning of the day quietly?
Start with five minutes e.g. in the shower use it to think about what
you are going to do and bring in something positive.
As you age go to the health club or take 30 minutes and take
in some time of silence. If you can take
care of your body in the gym why not take care of your spirit, which is more
important for your welfare. Don’t be
crazy all the time. Anywhere you are,
just lie and relax instead of getting angry of jam or line at doctors etc just
lie and go deeper (that’s an opportunity)
Solitude is a means to be able to share the better self of you
with others.
Another practice of stillness:
-Walking in nature wakes you up and you see the wonders of
the world and know there is much more out there that is bigger than yourself.
He stretches, meditates for 20 minutes every morning - is
his morning ritual.
Unwinds through yoga
Advise to younger self –
He is happier than when he was racing about. He takes off his watch to stop considering
time. Take a little bit of time to
gather yourself to infuse everything better that you touch. Solitude is a means to infuse the rest of the
world.
You don’t need to go far beyond your backyard to stay still.
It can just be here (your backyard) and save a lot of vacation money.
Nothing is exhilarating than being slow. Nothing is more urgent than sitting
still. We are most happy when we forget
time. E.g. if you don’t have time you
don’t have kindness and the chance to help others out e.g. one who helps a poor
in the world is coz they have time and hence gives out more.
The world’s worst wound is not being understood.
Pain is when we are not understood. We have a common thread all humans; we ALL
NEED TO BE VALIDATED. SEEN, HEARD AND KNOW
THAT WE MATTER. I.e. to be understood.
When are we happiest?
We stay in the light by forgetting ourselves. Most times we are absorbed in the
conversation and that is when we are happiest.
Sometimes we don’t see co z of the busy agenda of the day.
What is the purpose of human experience?
Purpose of life is to look after each other and realize
there is a bigger sense than us. We are
a part of a large network which gives us humility. Religion doesn’t answer all our questions but
reminds us we are not the centre of the world.
Spiritually is the candle in us, the light in us we
connect. Religion is meeting other where
each brings in their own light. We need
to bring in the light in us to be able to form a full circle of light.
He thinks God is reality.
The lesson he took the longest to learn is “slow down” – the
slower he is the happier he is. We are
looking for real life out there but it is all around us. WE are all looking for the real and it in us
but have to take a conscious measure to see it.
Is this real life or is there something better. Yes there is a better life and it is better to
be directed in that direction than the current direction.
Stillness is about listening.
source:
www.oprah.com/supersoulsunday, live streamed 8 March 2015